Thursday, December 4, 2008

The real Biggest Loser

I actually sobbed while watching the Biggest Loser last night. Sobbed. Tears streaming down my face. Everyone was in bed and I was up late watching it by myself (not like anyone ever watches it with me.)

I have such a good life. A good husband who is my best friend in the world. Two healthy, robust boys. We have a house, newer cars, food, the ability to pay our bills. There is nothing in the world that I need or want (well, I would love to be able travel.) The only thing I want is to be thinner. That's it. It's up to me completely and I don't do it. I let myself down time and time again. I know what it feels like to be thinner. I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit anymore. I even have a bunch of clothes with price tags still on because I would buy them in my old size.

I actually wrote the above post like 12 hours ago and never got to get back to it. I am just going to post it as is and unfinished because I have to get something up here.

7 comments:

Heather said...

So what's in your way?

Heather said...

PS I know exactly how you feel. More than a LOT of things I want to be free of this weight. I would say more than anything, but there's a few things in front of that. But really, it's what I want most in life right now if someone were to ask me what's missing or what's keeping me from being ultimately happy.

Mrs Furious said...

Julie,
We've got to pull it together!

(I know I say this every week)

It's the depression... I think...



Heather,
You can do it!

Kiki said...

Now that my clothes are starting not to fit because I am eating my way throught the holidays I find that I make excuses. A lot. I hate myself for it and at the same time can't seem to control myself lately.

I used to love that feeling of power I got over denying myself and getting thin....now I just feel sad when I can't eat what I want.

I know what I have to do and yet I don't do it. I suck.

Heather said...

Read THIS!

http://ronisweigh.com/2008/12/before-i-leave-a-quick-motivational-conversation.html

julie said...

Hi Heather, Mrs F and Kiki!!

I haven't been able to get on here all day...sorry!

Heather, I am totally in my way. I know I have to take one day and one moment at a time. Thanks for the link to Roni's post today. That was really good and timely.

Mrs F, yup, we will get it together! I know I say that every week, too. But really I am just feeling so tired lately...it's got to be the extra weight and lack of exercise and it is really getting in the way of my late night blogging. Seriously, I have been going to bed way too early lately.

Kiki,boy do I know exactly what you are talking about. And for the record, you totally do not suck...but it did crack me up to read that:)

Thanks to you all...you really are my peeps:)

PS Bear with me with the blog...you know I have it in me to get this blog going, I just have not had time and have not made it a habit (hmmm....habits are hard for me to create lately).

julie said...

I think i am going to just cut and paste what I just wrote and call it a blog entry.