The Dirty Pig Chronicles

Moving Day

2009-08-20T16:46:00.002-04:00

I have moved my blog to here:

http://shortygetsfit.blogspot.com/

Maybe someday I will come back here to tell the story of the origin of the "Dirty Pig."

Soon

2009-08-11T14:32:00.005-04:00

I will make a post soon with a bit of vacation rambling and then once I have the time to figure out how to jazz up this site, I will do that, too. I already have a name for it. Maybe I will put up a different blog and leave this for the occasional rant. I have to take the time to figure out how to link to others as well.

Anyway, I think I will post the most unflattering vacation photo that I can find. That's not too difficult since I have gained so much poundage. I might also put another picture from vacation in which I am not so hideously fat looking so you know that I don't always look so unattractive. I got me some of Heather's thing going on(this is where I would link to Heather's post about this, but I don't know how...plus is it proper to link to other people's blogs or maybe one should only link to one's own posts??)...the thing in which I don't think of myself as fat until I see myself in a photo. I just look physically uncomfortable in some of these photos. I used to look at other women who were heavy around their middle and really feel badly for them because they looked uncomfortable. Now I am that woman.

I saw a woman on one of our hikes up Mt. Mansfield who had to be in her mid-eighties. She was so vibrant, full of life. I want to be that.

Enough talk. Just do it.

We're going on Vacation I think

2009-07-30T23:51:00.002-04:00

Jack threw up tonight. Oh please let it just have been a fluke thing.

We were supposed to go to Vermont over 4th of July, but Murphy was really sick. Then a couple of weeks ago we were supposed to go to the Cape and Tom got really sick (which is unusual for him...he had a high fever for a week. Very weird.)

We have been hermits all summer. Murphy is afraid to go to the pool since the last time he went he had a fever (I didn't realize it) and felt freezing. So now he equates the pool to extreme cold. Even when it is 88 degrees out. He is our 'outdoor hiking guy' and he won't go outside anymore. Plus he wears his pajamas all day long and I let him. I just don't care anymore. He can wear whatever he wants when we go out. It used to be a bumblebee costume. Now it is an oversized Black Dog t-shirt. Whatevs.

We are nearly all packed and ready to go tomorrow morning to Vermont for 10 whole days. Murphy says he doesn't want to go because he thinks he is going to get sick in the car. And Jack threw up tonight.

On a different note, I am going to jazz up my blog later this month. I think I may go the whole 'get fit' route since my weight seems to take up so much space in my life and mind. Stay tuned.

Breakfast of Champions Like Me

2009-07-16T10:12:00.003-04:00

I ate 17, yes that's right, 17 Whole Foods Vanilla sandwich cookies.

I knew when I bought them "for the kids" that it would be a test for me. I have a real thing for these particular cookies. I should have put them back on the shelf, but I didn't. I just can't have these in the house.

Can anyone else top this gross stuffing of cookies? Tell me...make me feel better.

Self Esteem Boost

2009-07-13T22:22:00.002-04:00

I went to Walmart today.

The end.

Goal of the Day

2009-07-10T09:55:00.002-04:00

Do not swear.

At my children.

How to Completely Blow $250 dollars

2009-07-06T09:36:00.003-04:00

Sign up your 7 year old for the most awesome nature/farm camp. The one he wanted to go to so much that he would plead to me to tell him really cool adventure stories about the camp for 2 months prior to the first day of camp.

When he told me he changed his mind.

Don't tell me I should force him to go. Just trust me on this one.

Are you there, bloggers? It's me, Julie...

2009-02-27T16:48:00.002-05:00

Did any of you read any Judy Blume books growing up? I did and loved them. I don't think I really understood what was going on with the book "Are You There, God? It's me, Margaret." I vaguely remember someone telling me later on in life that it had to do with masturbation (eek...sorry to say such a thing on this wholesome blog), but I think I was probably in 5th or 6th grade when I read the book so I never got the whole "touching her special place" or whatever it was. I am sure I was perplexed and wondered how anyone could get any joy out of touching their hand or ear or whatever the freak the "special place." Of course, I could be just fabricating all of this unknowingly because I don't even remember that book at all. I just have a special spot for the title.

Sick, toothless and employed...all that is important

2009-01-29T10:06:00.004-05:00

After a completely healthy autumn, sickness has reached my household. My boys have been sick since Sunday with fevers, a nasty cold and a barking cough. I also have a cold in my chest and feel crappy. And on top of that, wtf, I injured my shoulder/arm...the one I type with thank you very much. Sleeping has been sketchy because I sleep on my side and neither side works. I have no idea how I hurt myself because...lack of movement perhaps? Seriously. I have not exercised in any fashion in months.

I secretly love it when my kids are sick. Well, it's not a secret around here. I tell them how nice it is that they are too sick to fight with one another and yell. I get to cozy with them on the couch. I keep them filled up on fluids. I just feel so necessary. Jack is back at school today...I am picking him up at noon, though, because walking pneumonia is going around at the school. I want him to take it slow. I like it when my kids are mellow and sick...not scary, worrisome sick. These sick days remind me of when they were little guys...around every day with their momma. I know they are getting better when they become crabby and annoyed sick people. I don't like that much. Off to school you go...

Murphy finally lost his first tooth last night! I say "finally" because he is nearly 7 1/2 years old. Both of my kids took forever to get their teeth. Jack got his first tooth on the bottom when he was 9 months old. Murphy was 14 months months old when the first one appeared. Usually when one pops out, more teeth follow. Not at our house. Jack got his first tooth and then 6 months later got his second tooth. Murphy had so few teeth that I had the Dentist x-ray him to make sure he had any teeth. My take on this is that let the kids have their baby teeth as long as possible. They are starter teeth...they can be beaten up a bit and chipped and it won't matter. Yes, both of my boys chipped their teeth in the rough and tumble days of toddlerhood. So I had to borrow money out of Murphy's wallet to put it in his little Tooth Fairy box. Yes, he paid for his own Tooth Fairy treat. I never have cash on me and this tooth loss took me by total surprise. I had no idea the tooth was that loose. I give my kids $5 for the first tooth and a dollar thereafter. Considering they lose their teeth so slowly, it really doesn't put us out financially. Jack is nine and has lost only 7 teeth I think. I'll have to get some cash to slip back into Murph's wallet...I was afraid he would run to his wallet and put the money in there and realize that he was short $5 bucks. I had a story all set up for that. I have been known to 'borrow' a buck or two before.

On another note, my husband came out okay during the BIG LAYOFFS that were taking place at his workplace. I am so heartbroken for the people who were let go. I wish I could contact them all and see what I could do to help them. I wish I could give them all jobs. That actually paid money. Any job I could give out right now would be things like folding my laundry and cleaning the kitty litter. Maybe I could pay them a buck or two out my kids' wallets.

Say What?

2009-01-29T09:41:00.005-05:00

In the spirit of Mrs. Furious, I decided I would add up all of money that I spent this past week on groceries, Target, pet stuff. This was a big week of stocking up on paper towels, cat food, etc. Plus, I did buy a cubicle shelving unit for Jack's room (that was $40 for the cube thing and $11 for 2 cloth "drawers"...not sure if I am keeping it.) I spent $20 on a video game for the boys and a copy of Turbotax to do our taxes for $30. The grand total for all of this was $460.19. That really freaked me out, but did not surprise me. This basically included 2 weeks of food shopping because I did the whole Trader Joe's and the supermarket two times. Plus, holy cow, all of those short hops in the supermarket for just a couple of things add up. Ridiculous.

Now, I know I sound a bit blase about the amount. I am not. We can not afford to do this. It was all cash, but we have no savings. It is not hard to imagine why that is. Yes, we have high expenses since we live in a very expensive part of the country. We both have high car payments and we can not get rid of the cars because we live in a rural suburb of Boston. It can take me 20 minutes to drive to a friend's house with no other cars on the road, no traffic lights, nada and they live in the same town. We do not eat out...like ever. We used to get one large pizza every Friday night. Now we make homemade...it does not actually cost less though because we do have to buy the ingredients to make it. It is about $10 a week for that.

I am about to write out some bills and cubby some upcoming expenses. I definitely need to become more aware of what I am spending our money on. There were definitely many extra things bought this week that are not usually. I can think of a solid $150 of that amount being extras. I have switched to almost all organic or local products. That is actually a lot more money for the dairy products--especially the milk. I do local for the cheese and butter, not organic. What I need to start doing first is to reduce the amount of times I go to the store each week. This past week was unusual. Trust me, I don't live near any stores so not going to Target and Trader Joe's a lot is not difficult. It is a solid 30 minute drive on back roads in the country...cows on the side and all. I do tend to feel like I need to "stock up" when I go to the stores though because it is not as convenient as I would like. I need to allow myself to run out of things instead. It is not necessary to have 4 boxes of Cheddar Bunnies stored away at all times. Rationally, I know this.

The Moron List

2009-01-20T14:45:00.005-05:00

I just received a letter in the mail to join some special secret club in which I will receive a book that shares all of their (they are secret remember so they would not tell me who they are!) Greatest Kept Secrets. The letter went on to say how special I was and that "they" had a profile on me and that all of my desires in life will come true if I respond within 3 days.

I got that letter along with a CD "that I ordered" telling me how I can get grants from the government.

The Moron List. I'm on it.

What my deal was

2009-01-20T12:39:00.002-05:00

As you know, I changed my blog address slightly because one could google my name and get to my blog and I just did not want that. I did not want to post anything until I took the time to clear that up. That's why I pretty much disappeared.

Why was I so paranoid about people finding me through google? Well, here is the deal...

A few weeks ago, back on Decemeber 26th, someone signed me up for 9 bizarre products or I don't even know what to call them. It is a whole scam thing. There are these weird things in which you can sign up for a "free thing" (which I DID NOT do) like some weird acai berry supplements or getting rich with g**gle or getting govt. grants...all sorts of weird stuff. They sign you up, charge you a small amount for shipping then charge your credit card every month for like $89 dollars. Someone actually used my credit card (well, my debit card, but there is good news to this) and signed me up for these things. I have more than one bank account. One has money in it (well Tom's check gets put in there so money is in there until the bills are paid) and one account has about $100 in it. I never use that account so when I was checking my balances on my bank's website and saw that $60 or so was taken out of the account, I was concerned. I called the bank, they put a block on the account and gave me the names of some of the charges. I also started to receive packages in the mail from these companies (because according to them if I receive it then I can't dispute it and apparently there is some "contract" for the monthly charges. I know, it does not seem to make sense. Especially since I did NOT even sign up for any of this.) It was kind of embarrassing. I know my mailman. This is a small town. He must have thought I was like some kind of dumb-ass buying all of these weird magical weight loss pills or "get rich quick" programs.

I also started to get a million calls from these "companies". Now I have caller ID so I usually do not answer these type of calls, but I had to in order to cancel these things. Then I would find out that these companies automatically signed me up for other services. Are you following? It was fucking bizarre.

The creepy thing is that they had all of my information, a phony email AND my debit card number. How did they have this? I used this card once at Target in November and once in September at a website where I bought some Kiss My Face products, but they mainly sell vitamin type stuff. I think that my info was sold or captured through this place. Really, it doesn't matter. It happened and I am thankful that I have been able to start to clean up this all before it got worse. If it was my regular debit card, I would have been screwed. I don't carry cash anywhere. I use that thing for everything.

So my bank issued me a new card, sent me paperwork to fill out an affadavit regarding these scam companies and I had to send back all of the weird-ass stuff I received with delivery confirmation (which cost me $40.) The problem is that I actually received these products. I don't care about the money I am out. It is the fact that someone did this and these "contracts" that I may be "bound" to. I know...you are thinking "But you did not sign any contracts!"

I just did not want my name out there with the blog. I started thinking of certain people in town getting a hold of the blog and I did not want that. I actually thought at one point that maybe someone I know did this to me. Not likely, but still...I was a bit paranoid. Not that I say anything that would offend anyone, but I just felt violated with the whole product-scam thing.

Hey, there are people in my town I have googled and I would have totally bookmarked their blog if one showed up. I am nosy like that. So why wouldn't someone do that to me?

I just wanted to get this down so it may not make a whole lot of sense. I just want to be done with it all. It was annoying, but really could have been a whole lot worse.

Congratulations Mr. President!

2009-01-20T12:06:00.003-05:00

Just watched Barack Obama take the oath of office.

Tears streaming down my cheek.

Even though I have my period, ate a forbidden brownie, got no sleep last night, feel pretty bloated, I have never felt so hopeful. A dark cloud was lifted today.

Hey, if Obama can do it (become President, quit smoking, be so awesome) then perhaps I can buck up and lose these 40 pounds.

PS I got the third graders to be able to watch the Inauguration today at school. I also pushed it through for the first graders who are going to watch it taped at 2pm today. It was either that or I was pulling the kids out of school today for this most important historic moment.

Hide but no seek

2009-01-09T10:20:00.002-05:00

I do not like that you can google my name and get this blog because of a snafu with my full name being in the comments. It is because of some weird sign-in name that includes my husbands first name @ my name.

What do I do about it? Do start up a new blog? Any ideas? I am just trying to figure out how to avoid having my blog show up in people's google searches (ESPECIALLY if they are looking for me specifically.)

I wonder if I should change my gmail name, too.

What happens when you watch Oprah right before bedtime

2009-01-06T18:45:00.003-05:00

I dreamed that Oprah was my friend and that we were talking about grocery shopping. I told her not to shop at a certain local supermarket in my town because their produce doesn't look good.

Upon waking up, I was sad to discover it was all just a dream:(

Or was it?

Game On

2009-01-04T22:19:00.007-05:00

Robin said that Monday, January 5th is the new January 1st and I am right with her on that.

I feel very motivated. Enough is enough. I have 10 weight watcher coupons that I got last year through my insurance. I am going to use them. Now. I will not give them anymore money, but I will go to 10 meetings to jumpstart myself. If I feel incredibly inspired from the meetings and start losing at a good, consistent clip, then and only then I will get some more of the weight watchers coupons.

I am going to a meeting tomorrow at 11am. That will be something new for me as in the past I went to either a meeting at 6pm or Sunday morning. I wonder what kind of crew I will get there. All the fat moms I bet. Oh, and all the old grannies, too. I go to a meeting place in which I do not fit the regular demographic. I am usually the only one without a Popeye tattoo on my arm. Or a faded Disney character on my ankle. Yup, saw that one on a woman about my mom's age. Maybe I will get inspired and get a Pride tattoo like the boys did on Biggest Loser. Remember those guys?

I feel very motivated and excited to finally get myself back to my old weight and to get healthy and strong again. I have a ski pass to Stratton this winter--which does not come cheaply--and I have no desire to squeeze my fat butt and belly in my gear to attempt to get down a mountain. I basically blimped out of my ski pants when I went sledding with the boys last week. Seriously, I had to unbutton AND unzip my ski pants. Thankfully my jacket went over the pants enough. I felt like a snow blimp...or like the little brother in A Christmas Story--the little one who was in one of those old fashioned snow suits and could not get up off the ground after he fell or was pushed because he was so puffy and stiff. That was me....puffy and stiff. Ewww....that sounds kind of gross actually.

Why I did not get nominated for the Weblog awards...

2009-01-02T16:49:00.002-05:00

because apparently you have to actually blog.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T00:24:00.003-05:00

We had a big dinner party with Tom's family on Christmas Eve day. Then my parents came for the night. My Dad and I went to a Christmas Eve service at the Unitarian Church...the church is a beautiful white church that has been there in the center of town since the 1600's. Very old New England. It was basically all carols and everyone holding lit candles at the end. It totally rocked. My kind of church.

The boys are asleep finally. Poor Jack could not get to sleep. He was so excited and frustrated that he couldn't sleep. Everything is all set downstairs...I even have the coffee maker set up to turn on by itself in the morning. Well, I didn't do that. Tom did. He's good like that:)

We have another batch of people coming over tomorrow. My sisters and their husbands and my neice, Samantha. We will have another big rib roast dinner and eat lots of cheesecake and pie.

Then, if that is not enough...my brother and his wife are flying in Friday around 4:30pm and will be at my parents house that night for another Christmas party with all my family (again...God help me. I love them...but it is a little overkill.) My brother was supposed to come to my house on Christmas Eve, but the day he was going to leave, pipes burst in their house. They live in a huge historic building in Pennsylvania...I think it used to be a church or a convent or something like that. They have three floors and on the third floor, which they kept unheated, pipes burst and left quite a bit of damage. I am just glad they are able to come at all. They will only be here for the weekend.

Oh, I will for sure be back on eating more clean after all this holiday hullaballoo. I know this mindless eating is making me feel tired and sluggish (along with lack of sleep.) I am not going to fret about what I am eating for another day and then get back to menu planning and tracking my food and water.

Have a wonderful day today!! I have to go to sleep because my boys will be up at the crack of dawn.

No School...Again

2008-12-19T20:49:00.002-05:00

So for the third time this week, school was cancelled due to the weather. Winter hasn't even officially started and these poor kids have already used 4 snow days. They are totally screwed and will be in school in July.

What the hell happened to us New Englanders? When did we become wimps with the weather? The superintendent of the schools cancelled school yesterday during school for the next day because we were getting a snow storm in the afternoon. The snow started around 1:45 pm today. What the bloody hell?

Don't get me wrong...I love snow days. Love them. I love to have the surprise day home with kids, cozy on the couch, watching movies and having hot cocoa. But 4 snow days in 6 days...a week before Christmas? No, not so much. I would rather be wrapping presents and cleaning freaking toilets. Yay.

Oh My Sweet Jesus...

2008-12-17T23:59:00.002-05:00

Do you have an hour to read my previous post?!

Rambly Shambly Style

2008-12-17T23:18:00.003-05:00

I know I have not been around for a while. So much is going on and I have been so tired at night that I have been falling asleep really early. On the couch.

The ice storm really wreaked havoc on our little part of the world. So many people still don't have power. Trees are down everywhere. Some towns have closed down their schools until January. Not our school thankfully. BUT this kids have not had school since last Thursday. Well, they did have school on Tuesday...the day I work for free at the school so I could not get anything done at home. Then we had a little snowstorm so they closed again today. The boys have been great, but it is not as easy to get stuff done with them home. I really need to start wrapping presents for them as I am not going to have any time later.

So here's the deal with what has been going on:

Friday, the day after the ice storm, with no power and everything a big mess, we happened to have matinee tickets for the Boston Ballet's Nutcracker at the Opera House. Now there was no way we were going to miss that. Believe me, we nearly did. Everything was going against us. All I can say is thank God I took a shower the night before so I was slightly presentable. Really. It had been days since I took a shower and I was going to just take one Friday morning, but at the last minute I decided to take one the night before. I had just had my hair cut and colored the day before so it was reasonable looking.

We are driving past electrical wires and downed trees everywhere, trying to find a place for a cup of coffee to have on the way in to Boston. I was dying, man. I really love my coffee. I started out as a snob, not wanting to go to a Dunkin' Donuts because I hate their coffee. Didn't matter because the lines were 20 and 30 people deep. Seriously. Tom's says he can wait until we get to Boston. I just looked at him like "I can not do that." Finally get some coffee...if I had an intravenous needle, I would have shot it up.

Then when we got to the outskirts of the city in Newton, Murphy says his belly doesn't feel good. I say 'maybe you need something to eat.' Um, no. That is not it at all. Major barfing going on...with my quick thinking, I empty the lunch bag filled with snacks and hand it to him to throw up in. Jack is next to him with a horrified expression and a few smarmy comments. There is not much vomit on Murphy because of my little lunch bag save (for the record, I threw the lunch bag out. Totally not worth cleaning.) We don't know what to do. We are an hour from home. We are practically at the place. Do we stay or do we go home? Murphy says he feels a little better. It had to have been car-sickness, not an actual stomach bug (which would have been nasty and embarrassing if he had done this inside of the Opera House.) We decide to try to go still. We are now running really late, but hell, we have come this far. We miss the first part of the show, but I am so glad we went. It was a beautiful theater. The music was great. At first, Tom and I thought we should go to the Nutcracker every year as a tradition...but by the end of the performance, I realized that we are not a ballet family. We need more singing and dancing. It was really bizarre to be seated in front of two moms and their girls who were hooting "whhoooo whhooo" to parts of the ballet like they were at a sporting event. Bizarre. Plus, here I was so careful to have none of us make any noise....I unwrapped a bunch of Werther toffees for the boys before we got into the show so I would not make a peep and these chit-chattering moms had a box of Whoppers going behind us. Tom and I were totally cracking up. You have to realize that we were not at the local High School production. We were at the Boston Ballet.

Here's what else is going down: With one week until Christmas, Tom and I thought that now would be the perfect time to do a little home renovations. Yes. Let's strip wallpaper from the mud room and back stairway. Let's patch up the walls of this 100+ year old house. Oh, hey, that's been fun...rip up that rust carpet on the back stairs. Oooh...let's see what's under that. Nice wood stairs with a few coats of totally LEADED paint. Oh look, there are five million hard staples on the stairs. Well, we got to get rid of those. All the while, the kids are home because school keeps getting cancelled. Then in the middle of it all I decide that the boys and I will make my super delicious thumbprint butter cookies and some sugar cookies. Just let me rinse the lead dust off my hands. I decide to double the recipe in hopes that I can bag a few dozen to give to the garbage man, postman, a neighbor who gave me his latest poetry book...the cookies keep coming out totally flat. WTF is going on? They taste good, but are not fit for gift giving. They are too thin and crispy and would crumble on contact. Then I realize that we doubled everything in the recipe except the flour. Crap. I tried to add flour, but I got greedy, wanting to get as much out of this batch as I could with what batter was left so I added way too much flour and I baked a bunch of tasteless white rocks. If there is too much flour in a cookie, it doesn't lightly brown like it would if there was a proper amount of butter. I just learned that.

Oh, that's right, so this is all going on and we will all of Tom's family coming on Christmas Eve day for a sit down dinner. That's 11 of us total. And then later that day, my parents and my brother and his wife will be coming for dinner and staying over. Then Christmas day my sisters and their families are coming. We will have 13 total that day for dinner and presents, etc. So we HAVE to get this fucking work done. We have the entire mudroom contents in our dining room. We have tools, paint, bags of ripped up rug and tiny scraps of wallpaper everywhere. The house is in total disorder. Did I happen to mention that we are hosting two Christmas dinners?! I have five million presents to wrap and my house is complete disarray.

Hmmm...what did I eat today? A small bowl of some really good for me cereal with a few banana slices. A latte. A bunch of cookies. A huge hot chocolate. A slice and a half of pizza. I feel dehydrated and gross.

Last thing....want to know what I was most concerned about having an extended power failure? Not that the pump in the basement was not working so we had a foot of water. No, no, no. I was worried about the milk I had bought the day before. All $16 worth of organic milk. I have finally gone totally organic with the dairy. The milk cost is double, but I feel it is worth it for my kids. I guess even for me, too:) Okay, for Tom, too.

Ice Storm

2008-12-13T14:38:00.001-05:00

We've had a major ice storm here in the northeast. Power outages, tons of trees and wires down. I will get back to posting later.

We are fine and have power back though.

All I care about is the coffee situation. I got coffee so all is good.

I painted my blog

2008-12-10T00:05:00.008-05:00

I really want to do some painting around my house.

This is easier.

My Yellow House

2008-12-09T13:51:00.007-05:00

I do live in a yellow house. It's this one...

And here are the cows that got into my backyard...they live behind my house, but somehow got loose.

For some reason, the photo with the cows is at the top. I have spent way too much time trying to make it appear the way I intended. I now give up and post as is.

2008-12-07T14:19:00.008-05:00

Here are photos from my 4oth birthday in November...

This gorgeous yellow house was the bed and breakfast that Tom and I stayed at in Woodstock, Vermont as a getaway for my birthday. My parents stayed with the boys at home and had a grand time playing Monopoly. My poor parents did not know better so my boys had them playing marathon games of Monopoly starting at 7:00 in the freaking morning...before they even had coffee. I told my parents there was no way in hell that I would have done that and that they are good people. We typically can't play that game (or any game) that long before a brawl starts between my boys.

Here's my cake with Chanukah candles on it because we had no birthday candles. Yes, we have candles for a Menorah even though we are not Jewish and do not celebrate Chanukah. Just another weird thing about me.

I have a beautiful Menorah and always intend to light the candles, but I am inconsistent and really don't have anything to say while doing it so I make up shit and it has not really captured my kids' attention because I don't know what the hell I am doing. I keep thinking I will come up with some cool tradition that requires lighting 8 or 9 days of candles...

I have not invented it yet.

Murphy was really concerned that we were using up all of the Chanukah candles and that we would not have enough for the Menorah. I told him not to worry and that I had another box of even cooler hand dipped multicolor candles to use for it this year. And it is true. Again, we don't even celebrate this holiday

This is me in Vermont outside some road side stand that had these stuffed animal herds of cows and sheep. This place was a little crazy...the guy who owns the place was cutting up fudge and selling it to these foolish tourists from New York while he smoked a cigarette. Only one photo was necessary here, but I have no idea how to delete photos once they are added onto a post.

I spent a crapload of money at Whole Foods today...

2008-12-05T23:18:00.004-05:00

It is so nice and quiet in the house right now. I am loving it. Everyone else is asleep.

How is it possible that I can't get myself going with writing a blog entry yet I could write a freaking novel in the comments?

I mean, I was just about to just state exactly what I did today and none of it was really overly interesting so who cares. Well, actually, I did go to two of my favorite stores on the planet...the big Whole Foods in Cambridge and Susanna's, a funky clothing store in Porter Square (also in Cambridge.) Tom took the day off from work...he has a bunch of time he has to take off before the end of the year or he loses them. We dropped the boys off at school and went to civilization. I live an hour west of Boston. I am a former city girl who lives in a somewhat rural town. Rural for city people anyway. When mini herds of deer hang out across the street from your home and big ass beavers walk down your street during a big rainstorm, it's pretty fucking rural for me. So it is news for me when I get to go to Whole Foods. I will never get over the fact that I don't live within 10 minutes of one. I have always, and I mean always lived within a 5 minute drive or 10 minute walk of one. When I grew up in Wellesley, MA, there was a Bread & Circus just a walk away from my house...Bread & Circus turned into a Whole Foods at some point, but I actually still call them all Bread & Circus in real life.

Oh, hey, here's some good news about not being at one's ideal weight...you don't spend quite as much on clothes when you go into one of your absolute favorite stores. I have enough clothes in my closet that have gone unworn since I let myself go...my closet is like a store.

I am really tired and have to go to Jack's basketball game at 8:30 am so I am going sign off now.

I do want to say I do feel closer to getting myself on a more healthy track. I tried to jazz up that sentence with the addition of the word "healthy"...I am so sick of seeing myself write "back on track." Back on track...what the hell does that even mean anymore...just take it moment by moment. I do believe in that whole habit thing. Got to make it a habit.

Alright, in the spirit of Mrs Furious, check-check.

The real Biggest Loser

2008-12-04T08:20:00.003-05:00

I actually sobbed while watching the Biggest Loser last night. Sobbed. Tears streaming down my face. Everyone was in bed and I was up late watching it by myself (not like anyone ever watches it with me.)

I have such a good life. A good husband who is my best friend in the world. Two healthy, robust boys. We have a house, newer cars, food, the ability to pay our bills. There is nothing in the world that I need or want (well, I would love to be able travel.) The only thing I want is to be thinner. That's it. It's up to me completely and I don't do it. I let myself down time and time again. I know what it feels like to be thinner. I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit anymore. I even have a bunch of clothes with price tags still on because I would buy them in my old size.

I actually wrote the above post like 12 hours ago and never got to get back to it. I am just going to post it as is and unfinished because I have to get something up here.

I got nothing.

2008-11-29T09:15:00.003-05:00

I kind of forgot I had a blog.

We are are going to the local tree farm and tagging our tree today. Then next weekend we will come back and cut it down and bring it home. That's what do out here in the northeast.

I can't believe we have not had any snow. I love, love, love snow. Although, I am not fully looking forward to ski season since I am not going to fit into my new ski jacket that I bought last March on sale because apparently 8 months is just not long enough for me to lose 10 freaking pounds. Also, I feel so fat and out of shape that I actually can not imagine myself put on all my winter shit and clunky ski boots and actually trying to maneuver my body down a mountain while also trying to keep up with my 2 boys who think they know how to ski, but really don't...if you can not stop yourself when going 50 miles an hour down a mountain, you don't know how to ski...Honestly, I don't know why I thought skiing as a family would be a good idea. Yup, let's drive 2 hours and put on freaking snow suits and big ass boots and carry around tons of shit that is inconveniently shaped (skis=very long) and drag children who complain about being tired after one run down the mountain and then spend $20 on candy at the overpriced candy store in the little village and then lug all the shit again back to car to drive 2 hours home. All the while, Tom bitterly mumbling about how we should never have bought the ski passes and that we all (me and the boys) basically suck (he does not actually say that, but I know what he's thinking.)

So yeah, anyway, I love snow.

It's 1:00 AM

2008-11-21T00:59:00.002-05:00

I am still up. I will certainly be tired in the morning.

I'm hungry now, too, since I am up so late and I ate a salad and freaking squash for dinner.

I do have to say it is so peaceful in the house at this time. My 3 boys are all sound asleep. There's no sound at all. Except for my typing, which is beginning to sound pretty annoying.

I am off to bed finally. I will not check anything one more time;)

Out Shopping...

2008-11-20T23:26:00.004-05:00

Well, online Christmas shopping actually. That's where I have been all night.

God, I love being able to shop online.

I did pretty well on the whole Just One Week thing with the Weight Watchers. I started the day fine, but it could have taken a turn for the worst when I opened the delicious bin of mini crispy chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe's (I was prepping kids' lunches for the next day.) I did eat 2 servings of the cookies--2 separate occasions, not all at once like usual. BUT my dinner was a big salad with some boars head ham and chicken (2 ounces total) and a huge bowl of warm butternut squash (as is...just a sprinkle of salt.) It was totally satisfying and made up for the cookies.

I am off to eat a skinny cow and try to get into bed before midnight. It has been so damn hard to get up in the morning lately.

Just trying to figure out the whole adding photos to blog

2008-11-19T22:42:00.002-05:00

There is no point to this photo. I was just checking out how you post photos. I am still working on trying to put a photo or something next to my name for commenting.

This photo is of me and Murphy on the gondola at Stratton Mountain in Vermont. We were picking up our ski passes for this winter and thought it would be nice to take the gondola up the mountain and walk down.

Nice, my ass. It was not a hiking trail, it was a freaking ski trail. It was pretty freaking steep and I decided not to wear my merrels, but wore a pair of Keen sandals like a jackass. I ended up with 2 huge fluid-filled blisters on my feet and actually went barefoot part of the way down. Tom was dying, too. Of course, my kids were like whatever and running down the MOUNTAIN...not cute, gently rolling hill, but mountain.

When we got to the bottom, we walked over to the little village and fueled up on penny candy.

Murphy will never get allowance again

2008-11-19T21:57:00.007-05:00

So I decided that I would take 25 cents away from Murphy's $3 a week allowance each time he uses a "bad" word...

His favorite bad words to use are ass and damn. He lovingly tells me that he learned those words from either Tom or me when I reprimand him for using them. I think I used it once in front of him (well, it was in direct reference to him...hey, it was a tough moment near dinner time...he was being an ass and he and I actually both started laughing our asses off after I said it) and now he has taken complete ownership of the word. Thankfully, he knows not to use those words at school. He saves it all for me;) Well, he does not use the word at me...he usually uses it in reference to his older brother when they are fighting over something like 'he's sitting too close to me on the couch' or some other horrible thing.

So as of this morning, I had put 5 checks on a chalkboard with his name above them to represent each quarter that will be taken away. And this was after making up the rule that every time Dad (Tom) or I use a swear word that we erase one of Murphy's checks. I was trying to help the kid out.

Murphy is extremely smart, absolutely hilarious and has a super cute speaking voice. And he likes to use the word ass at 7 years old. What are ya gonna do?

Putting it out there

2008-11-19T15:55:00.003-05:00

Okay, what is the deal with me? I put on 40 pounds over the last few years and though I hate being this overweight, I do not commit to losing the weight. I want to lose the weight, but not enough to stay away from the cookies or whatever else is hanging around the house. Why am I bringing this stuff in the house anyway? Why do I feel the need to eat all of the sweets that I can't or won't control myself around?

Way back in 2003, I lost 45 pounds. I had a 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old at the time. I was so committed to losing the weight and getting back to me. The 45 pounds were from 2 pregnancies back to back, those extra 10 pounds I needed to lose prior to getting pregnant and then all of the Ben & Jerry's I ate that first year with 2 babies...breastfeeding did not melt the pounds away as a friend told me it would. Then again, I was depressed and stressed that first year with the two kids. We got ready to move across the state (again...the first time being when my first child was born), unbeknownst to me at the time, my oldest had a severe speech disorder so I was stressed about his development, I was totally sleep deprived and all the regular stuff that goes on in life with little ones. I ate my emotions.

Anyway back to the losing weight in 2003. I felt so good about myself. I was in control of myself and my life...just this small portion of my life, but still. It's hard to be in complete control of everything when you have small children. I felt like a better mother and things were not easy with my children. The worry and stress I had about Jack, my oldest, and his speech disorder was so hard on me. And Murphy, well, that child brings out the very best and the absolute worst in me. I would have needed to be blogging back then to put it all into words. No time for that right now...plus, I am supposed to be talking about my weight.

I kept the weight off for a couple of years before I just let myself go. It was a stressful time. We thought we were relocating across the country (I am in the northeast and we were going to be moving to Seattle...about as far from us as you can go.) My husband had talked me into getting a freaking puppy. I could go on and on, but really, I am so off point here. I ate whatever I wanted and lots of it. Lots of sugar. I gradually gained a few (well, 10 pounds) in a month's time. I thought, no problem, I can get that off. But you know, I never committed to losing the weight and gradually I gained more weight...until it reached 40 pounds. I can hardly believe it.

I know what to do to lose weight. Eat less, move more. I know that I need to change habits. I just don't do it. Well, I do it for a short time, but never long enough to get momentum on the weight loss. I also am hypothyroid so my metabolism is sluggish. But really that is no excuse. I was exercising 4 to 5 days a week for an hour. I was eating well most of the time. But I was not really losing any weight. It was and is so frustrating. I know in order for me to lose weight, I can only eat about 1200-1350 calories a day and need to exercise most days. I have talked to my doctor about this. I just have not committed to it. I want to commit to this plan, I just don't do it.

I actually cried a little today when I watched the Biggest Loser and Colleen was talking about how her life has changed, etc. I want to change my life...the way I feel about myself. I know I don't do certain things because of my weight. I'm just so disappointed in myself.

All gone

2008-11-19T15:53:00.001-05:00

There are no more Newman-O's.

And they did not go in the trash.

You can find my blog...

2008-11-19T10:06:00.003-05:00

in the comments sections of other people's blogs.

Cuz that is apparently how I roll.

Oh shit, I forgot about the groceries sitting on the kitchen floor...

so tired

2008-11-17T22:24:00.003-05:00

I am too tired to write anything and tomorrow I am at my kids' school all day volunteering.

Now that is uninteresting, Mrs F!

Who knew...I'd start a blog and suddenly have nothing to say. Oh, it's in there. I just have not had the right amount of time to write.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Croissants

2008-11-14T09:48:00.001-05:00

I love you so...

That Darn Cat

2008-11-14T00:40:00.001-05:00

My cat, Ruby, stole one of the Trader Joe's Chocolate Croissants I had put out to rise overnight. That bitch.

Happy Birthday to Me

2008-11-12T12:52:00.005-05:00

The end of a decade. My 30's are done. Weird.

The last 10 years went by so quickly. It was the decade of having babies, breastfeeding, running after toddlers, preschool, waving goodbye to my kindergarteners and the whole being a mom of little kids. All I wanted was a break during this time. I actually enjoyed being sick with a stomach bug once because it meant I could lie in bed guilt free and that I did not have to be responsible for anything or anybody.

Now I have a 7 year old and an almost 9 year old. They have a whole life outside of me. I don't know what they are doing at all times like when they were younger...I only know what they tell me and what I scavenge from other moms who have kids in their class. Usually girls. It's been my experience that the little girls tell their moms more about everything going on in the classroom than the boys do. Thankfully, I have lots of mom-friends that have girls.

Forty seemed so old when I was a kid. Now I am 40. I don't feel old. Sometimes I don't feel old enough to have kids.

Another dream deferred

2008-11-11T10:52:00.003-05:00

I was supposed to lose 20 pounds before ski season started because I bought a new ski jacket last spring that was way too tight.

Shopping for Momma's gift

2008-11-10T18:27:00.004-05:00

Tom took the boys out shopping for my birthday present. What a riot. I can't wait to see what they choose. Murphy was trying to make me guess what he wanted to buy me. He said it started with an "s-t-and u"...hmmmm....looks like he is going to pick out a stuffed animal for me. He could just go shopping for one in his huge bin of unused stuffed animals. I mean, really.

Jack was too thrilled to think that he was going to get to go into Toysrus. Murphy was like "dude, we are not going to Toysrus, we are going to a women's store." Jack's like "yeah, but if we are really good, we can go to Toysrus after." At least he has a goal.

I told them to get a me a cake at Trader Joe's. There are so many delicious sounding sweets in the freezer section and I never ever will buy them. I just pick the boxes up and look at the fat and calorie content. I say fuck it this time. It's for my birthday. They better pick out something good though. Oh shit, I should have them call me when they get there to consult.

Just a bitchin' rant

2008-11-06T23:31:00.002-05:00

It was totally pouring rain during the field trip--all outside field trip--today. Then I had to drive 2 1/2 hours back home in the rain, in the dark, on 3 different highways during rush hour. I am exhausted and really cranky and annoyed tonight. There's been all sorts of weird shit going on in Murphy's class (totally unrelated to Murphy) and I am a room parent and seem to be a mediator for it all. Thankfully one of the nutbag moms just took her son out of the class and is sending him back to his old school (where she had pulled him because she didn't like the teacher at that school. Red flag.)...long story short, she was driving several towns over to have her kid in our school...she used her in-laws' address to do this, then she complained incessantly about the "quality of the work coming home." Um, this is freaking 1st grade. Plus, she was illegally going to the school. And to top it all off, she was a little bit crazy. Possibly a lot crazy. This mom sent me an email Tuesday night saying that her son will no longer be going to our school anymore. Well, I don't know if I was more happy about that or about Obama being our next president. Seriously. I was fucking elated.

Swear to God, I have been attracting all the crazy people lately. There's been other stuff going on, too, but now I am paranoid that this other whack job mom will somehow find this blog and know I think that she is nuts, too. I have decided it is easier to give nutty moms the warm brush, rather than be completely honest about how I feel about them since our kids go to the same school. And really I don't want to work it out with this mom. She definitely has issues, but is one of those people who thinks that everyone else around her is doing her wrong. Oh my God, that sounds like me right now. Honestly, I am the one sane, normal person right now. That doesn't happen often, but it is the case this time. Even my husband thinks so this time and he'd be the first to call me out.

Back to complaints...Tom and I are supposed to go away for one night this weekend to Vermont for my upcoming 40th birthday. My parents are coming to watch the kids. The drag is that I have so much preparation for them to come and do this for us, that it just doesn't feel worth it. I don't know if I just think my parents are incapable of taking care of themselves or what (yet, I feel secure with them watching my children.Hmm...) I am making lunch and dinner for them for Saturday. Not for my kids, but for my parents. My kids won't eat what I am making and I know they will happily eat whatever else is there. Plus it is one day. They can feed them a bowl of candy for dinner and I'd be fine.

In addition, it is going to rain all day on Saturday. Normally, I don't mind rain. I kind of like a rainy day, but after spending 8 fucking hours outside in it with a bunch of 8 year olds and no coffee, it just pisses me off to think it is going to rain on our one day away. I wanted to be outside, maybe hike a mountain, drink a latte on a park bench or just not get wet. I just feel cranky and want to feel sorry for myself over something stupid. I know how lucky I am. I never forget it. It's the not so fully recovered Catholic in me. I feel guilty for even writing that.

I am so tired. Better go climb into the bottom bunk in my son's room. Hey, at least he's out of MY bed;)

This Blog is on hold until next week...

2008-11-05T19:05:00.005-05:00

It is totally lame right now. I just have no time until after this weekend to jazz this blog up. I am going on a field trip tomorrow all day (9-5:30) with Jack's class to Plimouth Plantation. Then I have my parents coming for the weekend. I am so excited I finally put a blog up, but now I feel like a lame ass because I have left it in a state of nothingness. I mean, c'mon, I call the blog The Dirty Pig Chronicles, but put no explanation as to why. It has to do with my youngest son, Murphy...of course. And another proud parenting moment.

Obama!!!!!!!

2008-11-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

I am so happy right now. So freaking happy.

And so it begins...

2008-11-04T13:18:00.000-05:00

I figure I blogged enough on other blogger's comment pages so it was time to set up my blog.

I have no direction in this blog...just whatever is going on. More to come soon! But now I need to make lunch for my kids who are home to today because of the election. We're packing our bags ready to move if our candidate does not win today. Just kidding. I'll try to stay away from politics, but I live in Kennedy country and am an open-minded liberal.

Alright, my kids really want to eat.